Get a Job!
by Dragon's Return
Summary: Can it be? Master Hand is bankrupt? Looks like its time to get a job...


Disclaimer: Super Smash Brothers belongs to Nintendo and HAL Labs. Anything else in this story belongs to its rightful programs.

A/N: sigh Enjoy...

**Get a Job!**

**Chapter One: "We're Broke"**

It was another wonderful day at the Super Smash Brothers Mansion... like always. The weather never changes here for some reason. So that meant all the children were out playing, the birds were singing and the adults were out at work. Work. That is a word rarely uttered in the Smash Mansion. The closest thing to 'work' they smashers might have heard was 'work out'. That was, until today...

"We're broke."

"WHAT!" Screamed the other twenty-six smashers in shock.

Master Hand sighed. "You heard me. Broke." He snapped his fingers and Crazy Hand floated over to a stand, playing a chart with a red arrow pointing downwards. "Our profits have reached an all time low..."

"I don't understand..." Peach said, rubbing her head. "What is this... 'broke'... you speak of?"

"We're out of money." The Hand explained. "Between paying the bills, taking care of your needs, paying the wireframes... we've gone bankrupt. The tournaments just aren't drawing in as much money as it used to..."

Ness raised his hand. "So ... what's going to happen?"

"I don't know." Master Hand said with another sigh. "It's going to be hard to keep you guys here with all the bills and stuff. Nintendo has been looking into ways of raising profits."

"How?" Mario asked.

Master Hand grunted. "Uh, I don't really know, I wasn't paying too much attention. I think new fighters or something... it was too loud, I couldn't hear anything. Everyone was screaming about a snake or something..."

"SNAKES ON A PLANE!" Screamed Crazy Hand, followed up by a fit of laugher. After a minute of two past, he stopped. "I'm done."

"Yes, well..." Master Hand cleared is invisible throat. "That aside, until the problem is solved, we're going to have to... make some changes around here."

"We don't have to move, do we?" Popo asked.

Master Hand shook ... himself. "No, you guys can continue to live here. But..." He paused.

"But...?" Came a few voices, awaiting the news.

"...You'll have to get jobs."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Zelda, as she fell backwards onto the floor, her head placed upon her forehead.

Link quickly rushed to her side. "She's fainted in shock."

Peach looked as if she was hyperventilating. "Oh, please tell me your joking Master Hand." She said, fanning herself with her hand.

"Look, you either get a job, or you get out." He explained. "It's as simple as that..."

"Where can we work?" Marth asked. "I didn't think there were any places hiring around here."

Master Hand chuckled. "That's where I come in. You're lucky I'm such a powerful hand around these parts." He pulled up a stack of sheets and began to hand them out to the group. "One this paper you'll find a few businesses around here that are willing to take you. So... yeah... have fun."

The next day, a smaller group of the smashers found themselves standing outside of a large building. They consisted of Zelda, Peach, Marth, Roy, Yoshi, Samus, Bowser, Ganondorf, Fox, Falco and Luigi. The other smashers, save the children who were too young to work, had chosen different places of employment.

"Here we are..." Roy said, reading the paper Master Hand had handed him a day before. "Final Phonetasy." He looked up and glanced at the large sign reading: 'Final Phonetasy - The only company with a Chocobo on a speed dial.' He glanced back at this friends. "I guess we go in then..."

The group entered the building and stepped into a large lobby. The floor was marble and there was a chandelier hanging from the center. On each side of the room were a group of cozy looking blue chairs, some of which were filled with important looking people reading magazines. In front of them was a large desk where a young redheaded woman was sitting, talking on the phone.

"Excuse me..." Luigi said, walking up to the lady.

"Hang on a minute..." The lady brought the phone down from her ear. "Welcome to Final Phonestasy, how can I help you?"

"We're here for the jobs."

The girl stared at the group for a second. "We're not hiring at the moment, sorry." She then went quickly to gabbing on the phone.

"Oh..." Luigi took out the paper from his pocket and held it up. "Master Hand said you guys had jobs for us. Are you sure?"

The girl looked at the paper and then spoke into the phone, "I'll call you back." She then stood up and walked out from behind the desk. "Oh, yes, we were expecting you guys. My name is Misty Waterflower. Please follow me and I'll bring you to our boss."

Misty began to walk down one of the hallways behind the desk with the group of smashers following closely behind. Men and Women in business suits were dashing back and forth. "I hope we don't have wear suits." Yoshi muttered to Zelda as they walked.

"Misty... that sounds familiar." Falco said, thinking back. "Didn't you work on a show? With Pikachu or something..."

At the moment Falco finished, Misty froze suddenly and stopped movie. "Uh, you okay?" Roy asked.

"...Yes... I did work on that show." She muttered, her voice dark and grim. "But then... THEN... they said they didn't need me anymore." She began to chuckle lightly. "Oh no, they said 'If you're not gonna get with Ash this season, you're gone.' But in the end...they didn't want me... no, no... they went with that spawn of the devil... Maaaaaaaaaaay." Misty turned around, flames in her eyes with her fist raised towards the roof. "I SWEAR, EVEN IF I TAKES ME A THOUSAND YEARS, I WILL GET MY REVENGE MAY! I WILL!" She then began to laugh a maniacal laugh that rivaled that of Crazy Hand, scaring the group into shock. However, judging by the way the other workers were completely ignoring her, it could be judged that this was an every day thing.

Of course, the smashers couldn't tell. "...You know something, I forgot... I have my own job..." Luigi muttered, quickly turning and speeding out the front door.

"...Why the hell am I even here?" Ganondorf muttered, starting to leave. "C'mon Bowser, lets go."

"Huh?" Bowser replied, his voice dazed. "Oh... go to the store without me. I'll catch up later." Ganondorf shrugged and left the building, leaving the Koopa to gaze upon Misty with wide eyes, his claws locked together in awe. "I'm in love..."

After a few minutes of laughing, Misty stopped, coughed and apologized to the group. "Sorry... went a little over board there. This way please."

The group walked up a few flights of stairs and down more seemingly endless hallways filled with important looking people. "Are we there yet?" Peach muttered. "Who are you taking us to see?"

"Well, since Master Hand is friends with our top guy, I'm taking you to see him." Misty stopped and looked around. Suddenly, loud gothic like music began to boom through the hallways of the building. "Speak of the devil, here he is now."

The Smashers looked around, searching for the source of the music as it got louder and louder. Then, suddenly, a door opened up and out walked the One-Winged Angel himself, dressed in a snazzy businesses suit and glasses, followed by a choir of men singing in tune with the music, "OMG! IT'S SEPHIROTH!"

"Seppy! SEPPY!" Misty cried out in a voice that could shatter glass. "MASTER HAND'S FRIENDS ARE HERE FOR THE JOB!"

Sephiroth turned and saw the group. "Ah yes, I was told you were coming. Please, follow me into the board room."

The group followed Sephiroth into a room with a long table complete with twenty-two chairs, ten on each side, and one at each end of the table. Sephiroth sat in the head chair while the smashers sat in the ones lining the side. Misty handed Sephiroth the smashers resumes and then left the room, leaving him to read them over in quiet. A few minutes past and he finished glancing through the papers. "So, none of you have any real working experience?" He asked, sitting back in his chair.

"I work as-" Before Fox could finish, Sephiroth put his hand and sighed.

"Do any of you even know what we do here?"

Silence...

"...We sell phones. Did you ever wonder why there were just so many phones in Advent Children?"

The Smashers let out a collective 'Ooooh', as their minds were opened to the wonder of business.

Sephiroth put his elbows on the table and folded his hands near his face. He closed his eyes and sighed, muttering how much the bloody hand will owe him after this. "Okay, lets see what we have to work with..." He opened his eyes and looked over at Fox and Falco. "You two. Neither of you are humans. You are outsiders in this mostly human world. So it is likely that you have been made fun of and abused in your life, as outsiders not fitting in. So, it is obvious that you guys try harder and harder each day, to fit into the main stream life, so that you can be accepted as a normal person."

Fox and Falco exchanged glances.

"So... you two should know more then any of us what the people of today are into. Advertising." He put Fox's and Falco's paper into a folder labeled 'Advertisement'. He then turned to Peach and Zelda. "Recent studies have shown that strangers are ten percent less likely to hang up the phone on a woman's voice." Sephiroth shoved their papers into a different folder. "Telemarketers."

"What's a telemarketer?" Zelda asked.

Sephiroth shrugged. "How should I know. I just run the company... I don't know what makes it run." He looked over at Marth. "Pretty face. You'd drive the girls and the gays insane. That's two out of four... not bad..." He picked up his paper and placed it in another folder. "Door to Door Salesman."

Marth muttered something about not being a people person, but for the most part stayed quiet...

"You're also pretty." Sephiroth said, referring to Roy. "But not as pretty. People won't be afraid to talk to you. Returns Claim." He glanced over the group. "Who does that leave... A scary dinosaur, a not so scary dinosaur, and a guy who thinks he's Boba Fett."

"I'm a girl..." Samus muttered.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Really? ...Well I think you should be my assistant then."

Samus sighed as Zelda leaned over towards her. "Looks like someone has the hots for you." She whispered with a laugh.

"What about us?" Yoshi asked, pointing to himself and Bowser.

Sephiroth looked around at the available jobs. "You can be Tech Support." He said. "As for your friend there..."

"Can I be that goddess you have working at the front desk's assistant?" Bowser asked, his eyes still filled with visions of the beauty called Misty.

"...Sure. Well, that's it. I'll leave you to find your work stations yourself." Sephiroth stood up. "It was a pleasure meeting you all, and I'm sure you'll all make valuable assets to the Final Phonetasy family..." as Sephiroth began to make his leave, the music began playing once more with his choir singing "THERE HE GOES! GOES SEPHIROTH!"

And, that day, the weather did change in the Smash Universe. A dark cloud moved over the building of Final Phonetasy. But what the future held in store for the little business ... is yet to be seen.

To Be Continued...


End file.
